In the past, if someone came up to me and told me kind words about me, I assumed this person is a great person, and I would immediately do my best to help him or her right away. — As I become more mature than a decade ago, I didn’t know that the world is very colorful. It doesn’t contain one type of individuals.
Instead, the world consists of many different types of personalities. Some people are takers. Some people are manipulative. Some people have a pure heart. Some people have evil mindsets. Some people are givers. – I can only guess it is also the reason WHY the world is NEVER dull.
The problems with fake nice people are, “They have a hidden agenda.”
And, if you are naïve like I used to, you would fall in a trap without knowing why either. Worse, the moment you realize that you have surrounded yourself with fake nice people; your life would have probably turned from worse to critical. The question is, “What are the early signs you will notice when you are dealing with a fake person?”
Well, here are three warning signs you are dealing with fake nice people in your life:
Sign #1: Gossip in Front of You.
When someone gossips about others in front of you, most likely they will gossip about you in front of others. There is no “but” and there is no exception to this rule.
One of my former mentors and I had a misunderstanding. When I spoke to him on the phone, he told me that he shared my situation to this guy and that guy. At that moment, I mentioned to him that I didn’t appreciate that as he didn’t abide by client Privacy, confidentiality, and privileged communication. – I know for the fact that if I didn’t cut off the conversation, my information would be out in public.
I know for the fact that when someone gossip about others, they will gossip about you as soon as you shared your information to them. My point is, “If you see someone is talking about others in front of you, distance yourself.” – It is really not worth the time to be very close with them.
Why is that? Well, when they don’t like you, they will do whatever it takes to destroy you in the public or private. So, say less about your personal stuff.
REMEMBER: When people share with you about their personal secrets, it means that they trust you. However, it doesn’t give any of us the privilege to gossip around and share their personal information.
Sign #2: It is all about them, NEVER you.
In any relationship, it is all about what you can give to the other person. It is never about I can use this person for X, and I can use that person for Y. It also means that IF you haven’t focused on “giving” in your life, chances are people will avoid you at all cost.
Why is that? You haven’t added more cash flow to your invisible bank accounts. Let me explain in great details, okay? There is a saying that we buy from people we know, like, and trust. The questions you need to ask yourself are “How do you know them?” “How do you like them?” and “How do you trust them?”
ANSWER: They focus on giving.
That’s the law of the universe. It is NOT how much you can take. It is all about how much you can give. The more you give, the more you receive in return. – WARNING: You may not receive from specific friends such as John or Michelle, but you may receive from strangers that you touched.
A few days ago, I spoke with a client. She is a 16-year old beautiful young lady. I admired her accomplishment. She is a tough cookie. She has accomplished a lot more than most people my age. Yet, she decided to become a client. Why is that? – I focus on filling up my invisible bank account.
“You have accomplished a lot in your life,” – I mentioned to Ms. Mango.
“Thank you. I have followed you for a few years. I want you to be my mentor,” – Ms. Mango replied with excitement.
“How do you know me?” – I asked as I got curious.
“Well, I heard your stories about brain tumor, difficult childhood, and much more. You are someone I want to learn from,” – Ms. Mango replied.
I didn’t know Ms. Mango. She said she has followed me for more than three years. When she became a client, it wasn’t just a privilege. It was an honorable thing for me. Why is that? She would be a great success story for the limitless family.
What did I do to earn her trust? ANSWER: Again, I focus on filling up my invisible bank account.
Now, when someone hasn’t earned your trust yet and asked you for A, B, and C, chances are you will hear the word “NO” all the time. My point is, “Focus on giving.” – You will see how the world will give back to you in many different ways. And, if you see the conversation below, you will know why no one wants to respond or help this person out:
“Hi Henry, how are you doing?” Mr. Apple messaged me on FB.
“I am doing great,” I replied.
“I know we haven’t spoken before. I need your help. Can you promote my product, XYZ? Everybody loves it. I know you will love it too. Here is the link: XYZ dot com,” Mr. Apple messaged me.
First of all, I don’t know who Mr. Apple is. I haven’t spoken to him before nor did I interact with him in the past. It means that there is no invisible bank note somewhere in the universe to tell me to give something to him. In other words, I can ignore his request.
Here is another example of someone who would focus only on taking from you:
“Hey Henry, I am in New York,” – Mr. Grape called me.
“Great. What are you doing up here?” I asked.
“Oh, I am just attending a workshop in Philly. And, I need your opinion on something,” Mr. Grape replied.
“Sure, bud. I will clear off my schedule for you. We can have dinner together,” I replied as I cleared up the schedule for the night.
When I met Mr. Grape, I found out that he had dinner with two other mutual friends in the surrounding area. I know both of them as I have met them and connected with them for a while. – I didn’t understand why Mr. Grape didn’t ask me to eat together with them as I thought I was Mr. Grape’s friend. – So, I spent four hours of my time with Mr. Grape until 1 AM in the morning. I showed him how to build his business back.
“Check, please,” – I asked the waitress.
Since I didn’t see that Mr. Grape was intending to pay, I put down the cash and paid for the meal. – This happens for many occasions where he would either didn’t bring some money or expected me to pay for the meals. – After the incidents, I stopped contacting him as I didn’t see him as someone who is sincere of wanting to be your friends.
Sign #3: Their words don’t match their actions.
I will always pay attention to what they do. Talk is cheap. Instead, I pay attention to every action that they take. Why is that? Everybody can say what they are going to do. And, only a few people will actually do what they say they are going to do.
If someone’s success is based on words and not actions, there will be more than 3% of human beings who are successful. And, if someone told you that they will do something and they don’t, it means that there are ONLY two possibilities:
(A) They are way too busy than they anticipate it to be. – A lot of time, they will tell you that I will get things done in XX days because of A, B, and C.
(B) You are not a priority in their life. – I know it is hard to digest, but it is the reality of life. Why? If you are a priority, they will do whatever it takes to do things for you right away.
If it is an option A, then, you have to take everything on par value. They are honest and tell you as it is, which is they are busy. However, When the person you are dealing with fall into option B where they promise and keep breaking promises again from time to time, they are NOT your friends.
“Hey man, it was great to see you alive and kicking,” Mr. Peanut messaged me.
“Hey man, how are things?” I asked Mr. Peanut.
“Great, bro. I love life. It has been a long time. We should catch up,” Mr. Peanut responded.
“I agree. Hope things are great with you,” I replied as I didn’t want to make a promise to Mr. Peanut to catch up as he broke his promises 10 other occasions.
“You know what? Let’s catch up with each other this weekend,” – Mr. Peanut responded.
“Sure, give me a call. I would love to,” I replied as I didn’t put any hope Mr. Peanut will call me anyway.
*I put my phone close to me for the weekend. And, I didn’t receive a phone call from Mr. Peanut.*
The question is, “What are the warning signs you are dealing with fake friends in your life?” Please share with other limitless family members your thought on the comment below.
Regardless, I strongly recommend you to download my new e-book, “The Limitless Mindset” for free at http://thelimitlessmindset.com. It will show you how to unleash your power to fulfill your duty & mission in life.
Limitless For Life,
Author, Speaker, Limitless Potential Expert, Entrepreneur