For the past 30 plus years of my life, I had no choice but dealing with many narcissistic individuals. I wasn’t a healthy emotionally. I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t limitless either. So, when I made friends, I would end up making friends with unhealthy souls.
(Though the longitudinal data revealed that there were only 6.9% people are a narcissist, personally, I believed that many people are narcissistic.)
Why is that? – Well, when we are not limitless, we will automatically develop narcissistic habits. We may start doubting others. We may begin to judging others. We may have the urge to control someone. We may get frustrated when people don’t do things our way. And, the worse type of narcissistic person will destroy this person in private or public.
The question is, “How can we avoid these types of individuals?” – Here are five ways to deal with a narcissist person:
#1: Identify their intentions early on. (Never put your guard down on every conversation you have with anyone.)
Regardless of the type of narcissistic persons, you are dealing with, whether it is grandiose narcissists or vulnerable narcissists, they focus on two things:
A.Power. – They tried to read you, understand you and overpower you. It also means that every secret you share with them will be used against you in the future. (This is what we called “Data Gathering Process.”)
B.Control. – They tried to read your next move, identify your behavior pattern, and seek your vulnerable points. When you show them your weaknesses which you will as nobody is perfect, they will keep drilling that little hole until you become weak and vulnerable for attack.
A limitless individual will let you be you. When you are successful, a limitless person is happy for you. There is no control, no manipulation, or no win or lose mentality.
#2: Keep your boundaries strong. (Never give anyone a leeway to break your limit.)
A narcissistic person will always find a way to control you. They will break your boundaries. They will identify your weaknesses. They will use your kindness as a stepping stone to get what they want. – And, if you allow them to break your limit once, they will cross your boundary twice, and they will keep crossing it until you fall apart with no way out.
The question is, “How do you keep your boundaries strong?” – Give people two chances to break your limit. It means that when they break your limit once, you will tell them that what you want in your partnership or relationship. If they break it twice, you will remind them of your boundary. – In fact, here are formulas I use in every connection I have:
A)If you are kind to me, you get the gift of my time.
B)If you are unkind to me, you get the gift of missing me. In many cases, it will be forever.
“What is the next step we need to work on?” – Mr. Apple asked me.
“Complete the first task first. Then, we will talk about the next step,” – I asked Mr. Apple with a smile.
“Yeah, but if I don’t understand the next step, I can’t do my job well,” – Mr. Apple insisted.
“Dude, I have been asking you to complete this task for more than three weeks now. Can you just complete it first? This way, I can move on to the next task,” – I asked as I got frustrated.
(One week later, I struck another conversation with Mr. Apple.)
“Hey bro, how are things?” – Mr. Apple asked.
“Things are great. How was the task?” – I asked Mr. Apple.
“What task?” – Mr. Apple asked.
“The task we talked about last week,” – I asked Mr. Apple quietly.
“That task is easy. I can do it in a hard beat. Henry, I am thinking that we should do something bigger than such as creating a membership site together,” – Mr. Apple asked me.
“Bro, I usually give people two chances. Since you are my buddy, I gave you many chances. Please do the necessary if you want to work with me,” – I replied with a firm voice.
(A week later, I let go of Mr. Apple.)
#3: Keep your mouth zip on your plans of actions. (No one other than you needs to know the directions of your life.)
With a narcissistic person, the more data you share with them, the more they will use it to against you in the future. It means that when you talk with anyone, you should never talk about your next step to anyone. – No, you are not being faked. Instead, you must understand that your plan of actions is nobody business.
Why is that? – Well, when you are dealing with a narcissistic person, your personal struggles will spread to everyone their inner circles them in seconds. – The question to you is, “Why should you put yourself in a vulnerable position?”
“Hey Henry, what are you working on right now?” – Mr. Chocolate asked me.
“I am working on adding one motivational quote per day on my Facebook post. I think it will work great for my brand,” – I told Mr. Chocolate my plan for my business.
Within a few days, 10+ friends started to put motivational quotes on their Facebook Posts. – Should I confront Mr. Chocolate? – Nope. Why is that? I was the one who told him of my plan of actions. This incident reminded me once you share your secrets with others, everything will be out of your control. – No exception to the rule.
#4: Smile, but distant yourself. (Don’t give a narc a power over you.)
Regardless of the type of narcissistic persons, you are dealing with, whether it is grandiose narcissists or vulnerable narcissists, you are just a stepping stone for the next step in life. – What is it? Well, there are “two” things:
A)If you are still useful to them, they want to gain control over you.
B)If you are no longer useful, they will discard you in a hard beat.
In other words, with a narcissistic person, there is no friendship. It is either the narc is in control, or you will be discarded. The question is, “How can you be happy with a person who is narcissistic?”
ANSWER: You can’t. It is also the reason WHY I mentioned to many clients who studied 30-day transformational program, that you can’t rescue anyone but you. If someone doesn’t need your help, don’t help them. – Help you.
#5: Let go of the need to be right. (Trust your intuition!)
When you are dealing with a narcissistic person, he or she will always find a way to exploit your weaknesses. If you share great things about you, they won’t be happy for you. If you share bad news about you, they will spread them like wildfire. – In other words, let go of your need to share the happy story with a narc. It will never go well.
“Henry, I have something I want to share with you,” – Mr. Dick told me in front of all my friends.
“Sure, what’s up bud?” – I asked with a smile.
“I know you for a while. I just want to say that you are a narcissistic person. I saw the way you tried to control your ex-girlfriend. Plus, the way you treated people around you weren’t great either,” – Mr. Dick replied.
“I am sorry you feel that way. You are right,” – I replied.
I could get upset. I could say that my relationship with my ex-girlfriend was none of anybody’s business. I didn’t. Instead, I use the three simple words. – What is it, Henry? ANSWER: You are right.
I didn’t fight. I didn’t defend myself. I didn’t try to win the situation. Instead, I removed myself from the conversation quietly. Why is that? – With a narc, when you win, you will lose dearly. When you lose, you will gain an inner peace in you. – Choose to give up the need to win with a narc. Why is that?
ANSWER: Life is too short to allow a narcissistic person to control you or manipulate you.
The question is, “How do you deal narcissistic people in your life?” Please share with other limitless family members your thought on the comment below.
Regardless, I strongly recommend you to grab “30-Day Transformational Blueprint 1.0” at https://thelimitlesslife.com/30daystolimitlesslife, it will give you a step-by-step process on what you need to break all the invisible chain and unleash your power to fulfill your duty and mission in life.
It is not for me, but for you. It has helped me to remove the invisible chains of more than three decades. It has helped me to live a limitless life in every area of my life. And, I am confident it will help you to live a limitless life as well.
Limitless For Life,
Author, Speaker, Limitless Potential Expert, Entrepreneur