How can I move on from my broken relationship? How can I move forward to face the reality I am currently on? How can I find the strength to keep giving my best when things are pressing against me from every direction? — These are the exact questions I received from one of the readers I received.
You see, when all odds against us, it is almost impossible to say, “Just do it or you are going to be all right.” – Those words would not work especially when our self-esteem is below level 3. How do I know that? I experienced this situation on many different occasions.
- When my narcissist father scolded me and told me I was a loser in front of my aunt, siblings, distance cousins, and relatives, my self-esteem went down from a low 5 to 1.
- When I received 3,000+ emails in 72 hours from people who asked me to go to hell, I got traumatized by the situation in which I was too afraid to read my emails for more than four months.
- When my ex-girlfriend left me after she knew that I was 90% blind on the left eye and 50% blind in the right eye, I knew it was easier to take the knife and die.
- When my narcissist father tortured me for 13 days in New York (Read the details of the story here), I felt emotionally depleted. I was lucky enough to have a healthy support system that allowed me to recover from the soul torturer in just two days.
- When my relatives ganged up on me and told me that based on the bible I should be cast to hell after I shared the truth about my narcissistic dad (Read the article at here), it was easy to delete the post. However, I stood firm with my words. – Of course, as I have already lived a limitless life for more than four years now, the attack from others wouldn’t affect my mood and obligation.
For decades, I got abused. My dad would use many people in my inner circle to control, manipulate, and use me to advance his agenda. — I was just part of his pawn, not a son. When things didn’t go as his plan where I said “NO” to his agenda, I knew the storm would come from many different directions.
Let me give you an example of the recent event, okay?
When I posted a new article about my brain tumor, the passing of my younger sister, as well as my emotionally abusive father, one of my siblings called me on the phone right away.
“Take down the post,” – She demanded me.
“Nope,” – I replied without hesitation.
“If our younger sister still alive now, she wouldn’t have allowed you to talk about our dad,” – She replied with a lot of anger.
I wanted to respond, but I didn’t have to. I know in my heart that my younger sister tortured emotionally. As I stayed in silence, I heard *click*. One minute later, I received a message in the group chat from one of my siblings to use the whole family members to against me.
“You should delete your post now,” – She demanded.
“Never,” – I replied.
“Are we not your family?” – She asked.
I didn’t reply as I knew she was trying to ask the rest of the family to gang up on me. Two days later, I received a call from one of my relatives, Ms. Orange. She told me that she read the post and I should take it down.
“You don’t even have a Facebook account. Which article are you referring to?” – I asked.
“It was the article that you send me,” – Ms. Orange replied.
“I didn’t even put that article on Facebook. Why did you listen to one of my siblings and gang up on me?” – I asked.
“Why did you accuse your sibling?” – Ms. Orange asked.
“Well, she called me. She asked all my siblings to attack me. Now, she called you and asked you to attack me,” – I replied and smiled.
*Clicked* — Ms. Orange hang up the phone.
As I experienced the same type of attack for decades, I know what I needed to anticipate next. And, as I understand the power of walking away (Read the article here), I don’t engage. I distance myself. Besides, I realized that there would be more attack from other family members coming my way. For a few days, there were no phone calls, emails, or messages.
However, as I started to eat dumplings with parents-in-law and some friends, I received a phone call from the same relatives, Ms. Orange.
“Hello,” – I answered the phone.
“You should stop this insanity by talking about your dad,” – Ms. Orange demanded me.
“Ms. Orange, I am busy right now. Take good care of yourself,” – I replied and hung up the phone.
The next day, I received an email from an aunt I haven’t spoken with for more than seven years. – Yeah, she was the same aunt that allowed my father to scold at me in front of her sons and daughters.
She told me that she was disappointed with me. Also, she said that based on the bible I should accept the abuse from my dad or I would go to hell. She told me that I was motivated by Satan to say things about my dad. – I didn’t respond as I didn’t have to.
In the past, I would have crawled back and allowed them to play me like a ping pong. However, after I strengthen my internal muscles for a little over half a decade now, the only thing that I needed to do is to focus on walking away from mentally ill individuals such as my aunt.
24 hours later, my wife told me that she had a missed call from Ms. Orange. When I visited my godfather, my god sister said to me that Ms. Orange called her to suppress me. – My Godfather and god sister are my mentors. Ms. Orange thought that by calling my god sister, she could use my god sister powered as a way to tell me what I needed to do.
For me, it was the last draw. – You see, when Ms. Orange was in pain, she called me for help. However, 24 hours after I solved her problems, her attitude toward me changed. Worse, she has even dared to call my wife and my god sister to suppress me.
The questions are, “What if you haven’t built a strong mental fortitude?” And, how can you avoid the traumatic situation as I faced in my life?”
Most people I talked to told me that they had never seen people who had such a traumatic experience as I had for decades. I might be wrong
Here are five simple steps to find strength during difficult times:
STEP #1: Read books that inspired self-growth.
When I was at the lowest point in my life, I bury myself reading a lot of books. I tried to avoid politics, gossips, etc. Books became my best friends. In fact, here are some books I recommend:
- Who moved my cheese? By: Spencer Johnson
- Thick Face Black Heart By Chin-Ning Chu
- How to be a 3% Man By Corey Wayne
- Emotional Intelligence 2.0 By Travis Bradberry
- How to win friends & influence people By Dale Carnegie
I would read from cover to cover. Besides, I would take a lot of notes. I know for the fact that when I was at my low, the last thing I wanted to hear from others are you would be okay. – I know I wasn’t okay. It was tough. It was painful. I felt abused. When some experts told me that they didn’t believe in pain, I would say to them… “Screw it. You had no clue what I experienced.”
I knew I was in pain. I felt it. Instead of sharing my feeling or giving others a chance to hurt me even more, I keep reading, reading, and reading until I became exhausted.
STEP #2: Listen to Motivational Soundtracks Music on YouTube.
Instead of dwindling in sadness, I listened to a song that motivates me. Most of the time, I would listen to motivational soundtrack music. I would hear the soundtrack music in my car, when I walk, jog, or even when I work. – Also, I write this article, I am listening to soundtrack music.
How did the motivational soundtrack music change your life, Henry? Well, when I was at my low, the last thing I wanted to do is to feed my soul with all the negativity around me. You can even say that those soundtracks are food for my soul. In fact, here is some music I played on YouTube:
- “Event Horizon” by Really Slow Motion
- “Who Watches The Heroes” by Really Slow Motion
- Beethoven Like You’ve Never Heard Before
- Transformers: The Score – Arrival To Earth
- Two Steps From Hell – Victory
STEP #3: Take Kickboxing Classes.
After I experienced 13 days of torturing sessions from my narcissist dad (Read the details at here), instead of getting all emotional, I attended the kickboxing class right away. I hit, hit, and hit the sandbag until I squeezed all my energy out of my body. – I reduced my anger to a minimum by being too exhausted to think on what my dad did for me.
At my lowest point, I would go to kickboxing classes multiple times a day. Some people in the class asked me whether I felt exhausted or not.
“Henry, you are awesome,” – One kickboxer, Ms. Apple praised me.
“Thank you,” – I replied.
“How did you do it?” I admired your persistence and focus,” – Ms. Apple and flirted with me.
“Well, I can share with you over a cup of coffee,” – I winked at Ms. Apple.
“Sure,” Ms. Apple replied.
I focused on being the best version of myself. I focused on giving my all. I focused on building the internal muscles through kickboxing. – Look back, if I were to torture myself by crying or saying the word “Why me?”, I wouldn’t have known that they were many people admire my abilities to stay focus during dark times.
STEP #4: Schedule one task per day.
Instead of telling others how frustrated I was, I committed to doing one task a day. – It was tough like hell. However, it was better than not moving at all. Well, in the past, I would become paralyzed where I spent time grieving, crying and begging. What were the results?
- I wasted months of my life. – My father was even poked fun at me for being a loser.
- I became broke. – I couldn’t afford to pay my rent. I couldn’t provide my primary need. I couldn’t afford to pay my employees.
- I felt even worthless. – As I allowed myself to fall into the trap, my dad put me, and I put myself back into his invisible chain.
As I became mentally stronger, I would increase my work schedule from one task to two tasks. Then, I add more and more tasks after I completely recovered. — Soon, the feeling of emptiness and sorry for myself disappeared.
STEP #5: Become picky about whom you allowed in your life.
I decided to cut every contact I had with my dad. If someone mentioned to me that my dad wanted me to do this, I said to them that it couldn’t do it. I don’t care what my relatives think about me. For me, I could no longer tolerate any abuse from anyone.
I looked closer at my inner circles.
I looked closer at all my relatives.
I looked closer at my team members.
If any of them showed the sign of playing games, manipulating, and trying to take me for granted, I would gradually distance myself from them. I don’t talk about it as it is impossible for them to understand your thought and what you want. – It is also the reason why the older I get, the more I pay attention to what people do and never what they said.
When you completely stop allowing narcissist individuals or sociopath person to enter your life, you will then live a limitless life.
The question you need to ask yourself is, “What are you going to do to move forward when you experience a dark period in your life?”
Regardless, I strongly recommend you to download my new e-book, “The Limitless Mindset” for free at http://thelimitlessmindset.com. It will show you how to unleash your power to fulfill your duty & mission in life.
Limitless For Life,
Author, Speaker, Limitless Potential Expert, Entrepreneur