Jealousy was one of the challenging issues I faced.When I first decided to trust my intuition 100%, things became very uncomfortable. –In fact, some people misunderstood me as arrogant. Some people would judge me as someone who didn’t care of others.
In the beginning, I would argue or debate with those people who tried to stop me moving forward on why I needed to work on myself and so on. — Well, it ended up in the deaf ears. Instead of feeling happy for me, they judged me as the person I honestly wasn’t.
That’s when I decided to do it ALONE.
It wasn’t easy. A lot of time, I felt that the world against me and so on. When I realized that everything was part of building my Internal muscles, I kept moving forward. — It was the ONLY way to change my life.
It was when I realized that my only friend and trusted advisor was my guiding force. –Yes, my intuition.
“Keep moving forward.” — My intuition demanded on me as I was feeling the agony in life.
“Okay.” — I replied as I wiped my tears and took massive actions on the plan I have set.
I stood up. I put my focus on my plan. I kept my insecurities to myself. I charged forward. — Sure, there was a tingling sensation that told me that “Henry, don’t be ridiculous. You are not that special.” However, the ONLY word that I trust was my inner guidance.
“Ignore those voices. Those words are from the darkness embedded in you for way too long.” — My intuition said with a lot of confidence.
“Okay.” — I replied as I took a deep breath and kept focusing on the future I designed for own future.
As I kept moving toward the light where new friends told me I was excellent, there was another voice attacked me heavily.
“Seriously, Henry. You are a loser. Even your father told you that.” — An unknown voice told me out of the blue.
“Don’t listen to him. He wanted to control you.” — My intuition replied.
“How can he told me that way?” — I asked my intuition.
“You allowed him into your soul for more than 30+ years. Of course, he would want to take back the control over your thought and mind.” — My intuition replied with a smile.
“Okay, I will keep moving forward.” — I replied.
I kept working toward my goal. I started going out on dates. I kept networking with people on the top. I focused on listening to my intuition 100%. — Basically, he became my new best friend. Then, one day, I got a phone call from my dad.
“What are you doing?” — My father asked.
(I told him everything.)
“Wow, I am happy for you. That’s good.” — My father replied with a smile.
(I kept telling him about what I did. I didn’t realize that he was trying to gather some data to use them to manipulate me!)
“Well, regardless. I just felt that your accomplishments were nothing special. You are still that loser that knows.” — My father said with a lot of affirmation.
“I am not a loser.” — I replied with a lot of anger.
“Look at you. You haven’t changed. You are a loser. A loser like you doesn’t deserve any success.” – My father kept affirming in my head.
*I hang up the phone*
As I turned off the phone, I cried. I stopped listening to my intuition. My other voice told me that my father was right. For weeks, I ended taking care of me. I abused my body by drinking red bulls, coffees, and abandoned some of my works. — I hated me.
“You got to wake up Henry.” — I told myself with a lot of anger.
“Read the book that has to do with narcissist person.” — my intuition demanded me.
I dug into it. As I read through each page, I realized that many narcissist persons would utilize the weaknesses in one’s heart to exploit them. — My father did the same thing. He tried to get more information from me. Then, he would utilize my need for validation as a way to control me.
“You got it now?” — My intuition asked.
“Yes, but I wasted three weeks of my life.” — I replied as I regretted the time I wasted in misery.
“That’s okay. It is part of building your internal muscles.” — My intuition replied with a smile.
As I wiped my tears, I told myself to put a distance from a jealous individual such as my dad. It was hard as hell. In fact, at one point, I felt the need to crawl back to calling my dad. — However, as I let go of the addiction to tell me everything, it is liberating.
I depended on me. I became a full person. I didn’t need anyone to validate me. — Sure, I would occasionally ask my inner guidance to give me validation. When my father called me, I would discipline myself to call him back one week later and allowed the conversation to last less than 30 seconds.
It was hard to distance myself from people that I loved. However, that’s how I merged myself with the light. — That’s also how I received all the gifts I didn’t think it was possible for me.
The question you need to ask yourself is
“Who are the people that would stop you from being the best version of you?”
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