As I used the word “selfish,” a lot of people would resonate that word with a negative feeling about someone or something. – It is normal. People love to judge. In fact, studies have shown that more than 97% of the human population love to judge others. Instead of trying to understand the meaning of the word “selfish,” they would make a judgment about the characteristic of the person in seconds.
Like I have mentioned above, the keyword in here is “Normal.”
The question is, “What is abnormal?”
You see, as a human being, we have been brainwashed by the media, 97% of human people who utilize other kindness as a way to advance their agenda, and many sociopaths and narcissist individuals who influenced our thoughts and actions on a daily basis.
- When our actions are different than they are, they will judge us.
- When our actions align with what they asked us to do, they would control us, manipulate us, and become their pawns.
It is the reason why many kind individuals are in pain. Most of them assumed that if they are helpful to friends, family, and strangers, everybody will reciprocate back. The truth is, “It depends on who you talk with and why they are in your life.”
Some people are in your life because they need something from you.
Some people are in your life because they are in love with you.
Some people are in your life because they want to be like you.
Some people are in your life because they look at you as an inspiration.
Some people are in your life because they care about you.
Regardless of their reasons, you need to focus on what you want to have out of your own life. You see, I learned this a long time ago that I learned from a friend. He told me that successful people, think big, and make things happened. While, unsuccessful people, think small, and talk about people.
When I heard about this statement, I didn’t understand why he gave me that advice. Why is that, Henry? Well, I assumed everyone was kind. I believed that when I did all the great things to others, people would love me for who I am. – I was wrong on many levels.
In 2004, out of kindness, I decided to launch a giveaway event. The purpose of the event was to help people who were in need of great products but couldn’t afford. Instead of hearing the word “Thank you, Henry. You are awesome”, I received over 2,000 hate emails within 48 hours. Here are some of the emails I received:
“Henry, you should just go to hell.”
“Go F*&^ yourself.”
“If I were you, I would just take the knife and kill yourself.”
“You should be cast in hell.”
What was the reason? – I had one error in my system. Once I fixed the mistake, I received few hundreds of more messages:
“Seriously, you should have done it earlier.”
“F&^% with all these free stuff. Just unsubscribed me.”
“TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST.”
In 2007, out of kindness, I took one person under my wing. I helped her with my heart and soul by helping her with email marketing. Also, I have even helped her to build 48,000 self-improvement niche subscribers in 30 days with free traffic. Here are what she did to thank me for my kindness:
- She smeared my reputation in front of my partners as a way to bring herself to the top.
- She asked my former assistant to spy on me and told her every move that I took.
- She installed her student to become my former assistant as a way to understand everything that I do.
- She would use my name as if she represents me. She would say things like, “Henry asked me to tell you this….” – Well, I didn’t tell her anything to say to my friends.
In 2011, a former student told me that he and his wife wanted to quit his wine business. I said to him that I would take him under my wing and helped him to establish his business. – In few months, he built more than 5,000+ subscribers. Later on, I helped him to remove the traumatic event he experienced in his 20s. He was very thankful.
Later on, he started to see his earning spike from zero dollars to $5,000 per month. However, as I wanted him to have the significant residual cash for his business, I helped him to build membership site where we partnered up. – I worked myself to exhaustion. I didn’t mind as I understood that he didn’t have the skills that I had. You can even say that I invested 95% of my effort into all the projects while he invested 5%.
“Hey bud, can you create this product for our next launch?,” – I asked.
“I am busy with my wife on the wine store,” – Mr. Tea replied.
“Okay. When can you do it?” – I asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to do any more tasks until we make more money,” – Mr. Tea replied.
As I wanted him to become successful, I decided to create the product by myself. After we launch, he was pleased as he received a lot of free cash from my hard work. – However, I was physically and mentally exhausted. All I wanted to do was to help him succeed.
For a few months, Mr. Tea worked less and less while he enjoyed extra cash coming his way. Instead of helping me with creating the products, he would spend weeks dealing with the problems in his wine store. Still, I was too weak to move away from the partnership. Until one day, my intuition jump into my thought.
“Let him go,” – My intuition demanded.
“That’s very unethical,” – I replied.
“How can you be unethical if Mr. Tea doesn’t do any work at all?” – My intuition asked.
*I stayed silent as I know my inner guidance was right*
In 2015, my ex-girlfriend wanted to leave me as soon as she knew I almost became blind. Worse, when she knew that my kidney, liver, and heart started to fail, she prepared to leave me.
She changed the password on her cell phone number.
She ceased communication with me.
She started to flirt with other guys in front of me.
Worse, when I revealed to my ex-girlfriend’s mentor (Mr. Peach) that my business spiked to over $100,000 in three months, Mr. Peach poked fun at me. For me, it didn’t make any sense anyone who you called a mentor would try to demean other people’s self-worth. – When my ex-girlfriend heard that I made a lot of money than before, she asked me to hand over the cash. I said “NO” for allowing her to manage my finances. A few weeks later, she started to play a lot of mind games in which she would try to invalidate my self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence on every level. One day, my ex-girlfriend would call my mom.
“I am leaving your son,” – My ex-girlfriend told my mom.
“Don’t do that. Henry is on the way up. I begged you to support him,” – My mom started to cry.
*My ex-girlfriend left the room*
“Mom, don’t ever beg to anyone. It is her choice and her life. I am your son. I can stand up by myself. You got to trust me on this,” – I told my mom with conviction.
“I trust you,” – My mom replied as she kept sobbing.
In 2017, one old friend, Mr. Durian came to me when he was at the bottom of his life. He told me that his wife poked fun of him. Mr. Durian was in massive debt. I decided to give him the salary that he needed. – For the first few months, he was very grateful. He worked hard. However, every single time, he would send me a subtle hint here and there.
“I hope the salary can help you a little bit,” – I messaged him with a smiley emoticon.
“It is great, but it is not enough to pay my debt. That’s okay,” – Mr. Durian replied.
On another occasion, I would have to message him for him to do my work.
“Bro, where did you go?” – I asked as I got a little bit upset.
“I have to do my business first. Plus, I need to take care of my boy. And, now, I have time to work on your stuff,” – Mr. Durian replied.
“Dude, my work is not that important?” – I asked as I was agitated.
“Are you trying to say that I don’t have to take care of my boy?” – Mr. Durian replied with a lot of anger.
Before I headed to the surgery room for my brain tumor, I handed most of the operation to him. I asked him to take care of the team members and my clients. – Within few weeks, his earning quadrupled. Instead of feeling thankful, he abandoned my work during my recovery period.
One day, I got distraught as he didn’t perform his duty as a team member in my business for three weeks. When I confronted him, he got very emotional.
“Dude, why did you abandon my business for three weeks?” – I asked as I hold on to the pain in my brain from the surgery.
“You know I got to head to another country for my own business. I’ve even abandoned my son for three weeks,” – Mr. Durian replied by starting to shout at me.
“Dude, I kept my promise by giving you the money you asked for one year ago. You gave me this treatment,” – I replied as I felt despondent.
“Bro, I am working okay. Besides, I do my best for all my clients,” – Mr. Durian got very emotional.
“If I were your client, I would have fired you a long time ago,” – I replied.
“You can do whatever you want,” – Mr. Durian replied.
“Dude, I am kind to you. Even right now, I have a severe headache from my brain surgery. And, this is the treatment I got from you? You know what, I got to know now as I am not feeling well.” – I replied.
*The next day, I fired Mr. Durian.*
You see, when people don’t understand the whole story of what has happened to you, they will judge you. On the surface, people may say things like, “Henry is very cruel to fire Mr. Durian.” In reality, all I did was to fulfill my promise that I made to him.
The question is,”Why do you need to be selfish?”
ANSWER: You can’t change anyone.
I can’t change Mr. Durian.
I can’t change my former students.
I can’t change my ex-girlfriend.
I can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change.
The only thing I can do is to use my action to inspire others to change.
For many years, I asked friends to add motivational quotes on their FB posts as a way to share positive energy with the world, and it went to deaf ears. I decided to start adding several motivational quotes on my FB Fan Page, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google Plus. — Within one week after I said daily motivational quotes, many friends started to do the same thing.
For decades, I asked some friends that they needed to lose weight for the sake of living longer. However, they would bite me by saying that you don’t have any rights to tell me what to do as you are not even physically fit at all.
I decided to lose my weight. I watched my food intake. I went to kickboxing classes three times to four times a week. Within few months, I lost more than 50 lbs and even attracted four-pack abs. – Soon, many friends started to lose their weight. Some friends told me that I saved their life by being the example in their life.
For many years, I kept asking my brother for what he needed to do to build his business. He got distraught and even feel irritated. One time, we got into a heated argumentation.
“You should do this way in your business,” – I asked my brother.
“Why don’t you do it yourself? Look at you,” – My brother replied with a lot of emotion.
Since then, I chose to stay silent. I hustle. I used every technique that I got in my business. Within few years, I built a high six-figure per year business. One day, my brother came to me and told me that he was proud of my achievement. Then, he asked me how I did it.
Everything starts with self-first. – Yes, it does sound selfish. The reality is for many (many) years, and I tried to change people around me. It failed miserably. Worse, 99% of them mistake my kindness as a way to suppress me or manipulate me.
On the contrary, when I focus on improving myself, other people start seeing my actions in themselves. Indirectly, in front of their eyes, my act of being selfish becomes selfless.
The question you need to ask yourself is, “What actions that you need to do today to inspire others tomorrow?”
Regardless, I encourage you to download my free e-book, “The Limitless Mindset” at http://thelimitlessmindset.com. It will show you how to unleash your power to fulfill your duty & mission in life.
Limitless For Life,
Author, Speaker, Limitless Potential Expert, Entrepreneur